Does the world need yet another blog?

Apparently, it does.

Hi, I'm another 17-year-old who suffers delusions of adequacy in this unfathomably large universe. You probably were one once, and if you weren't....well, you will be. Maybe not the 17 years old part. But there's no denying that hopefully every intelligent person on this Earth will enter a period where it feels as though the walls of their mind have been pushed beyond the cramped box of everyday life and they truly realize that this universe is big. Really, really big. Bigger than the biggest thing you could ever possibly imagine. And here I am, 5 feet 8 inches and about 140-something pounds, thinking I'm significant?

I might add that I am going to particularly avoid sounding like an emo idiot in my blog, but that in certain circumstances it is going to be difficult to avoid. My life is far from conventional and has for some time resembled one of those peculiar suspense-fantasy films where hardly anything makes sense and the meaning of events is only clear long after they have occurred. Nevertheless, I am still a teenager, a senior in high school, with friends, a boyfriend, parents, and a life in suburban America. And it may be thus concluded that I will, on occasion, blog about them. But I shall make every attempt to spare the details of my life from exposure that will make me sound like some normal, non-thinking American teenager.

So why do I need to open another blog, and waste your valuable time? For some time I have wanted to find a place to share my feelings of unreality in a world hopelessly caught up with simple things, where I see people perfectly happy to think whatever they are told to think, and where other people are monstrously unhappy because of the circumstances life threw them into. I hope to present myself as someone who has always had feelings of needing something more than a life that deals with the existing world--more than college, graduate school, a job, a house, working life, marriage, kids, retirement, and death. I need more. Everyone probably does, but who truly achieves it? I don't mean more in the sense of being famous, or becoming some kind of wandering hermit. I need more, in the sense that I need to smell the air when the evening light suffuses it with meaning, and I need to dance between the raindrops, and sit and commune with the spirit of the mountain stream while the air sparkles around me.

As Blanche DuBois might say, "I don't want realism, I want magic!" Except without all the delusional-sex-maniac overtones and implications of ignorance that Tennessee Williams intended.

So yes, expect me to occasionally sound like I'm insane or some kind of freak. Expect both the mundane and the strange from me...you'd be a fool to expect anything less. I expect I'll occasionally hit on some interesting truths, occasionally bore people, and occasionally confuse them, and many other things. I'm looking forward to at least finally having a place to put my thoughts when I'm avoiding doing schoolwork (as I am now).

Above all, welcome to my blog!